WIAW Camping Edition!

I have slowly been getting back into the swing of things after camping for the last couple of days.  As I mentioned in this post I really wanted to try to continue eating healthy even while on vacation camping.  Eating healthy to change my lifestyle is a long-term goal that I am slowly working toward.  I didn’t want to let myself fall while on vacation.

I feel that I actually did pretty well.  I planned meals and snacks and took plenty of pictures of everything to document what we ate for a special What I Ate Wednesday Camping Edition!

Peas and Crayons

I did have time set aside to plan healthy meals and snacks for Hailey and I to take camping.  Plans changed a bit when Hailey became sick and came back home early from vacation with her dad.  A trip to the doctor, some wonderful TLC from my mom, and Hailey was all better and ready to go!

Grandma and Hailey

I want to pat myself on the back here.  Even though I ran short of time I still bought lots of fruits and veggies to bring along.

Healthy snacking for the car ride

We stopped at the grocery store right before leaving, and I chopped everything up at the campsite.  Yay me for not giving into “no time” and just buying processed junk.

I bought broccoli, cauliflower, celery, and carrots to cut up and eat raw with my homemade veggie dip.  Well, actually the recipe is from my Grandma Fran but I healthified (if healthified isn’t a word it is now!) it by using plain greek yogurt.  I love watching Hailey eat all of these veggies! It makes me feel so good knowing that good stuff is getting into her body.

I brought along chicken meat that I had mixed with taco seasoning.  It was leftover chicken that I froze purposely to bring along camping to make chicken tacos.

Ezekiel sprouted tortilla shell with chicken, spinach, tomato, avocado, cheese, and plain greek yogurt

I simply heated up the taco chicken in a tin foil pack over the fire, chopped up all of the toppings, and we ate!  Avocado is my new favorite taco topping!

While I did eat some unhealthy things like hot dogs, sunchips, puppy chow, chocolate, and soda, I really feel that I ate a ton better than what I would call “normal”  for camping.  I am super proud of myself and feeling great.

Even though it was super hot, we did manage to do a little bit of walking.  We also spent some time down on the beach.

The freezing cold lake didn’t bother Hailey much, but Jackson did not like it!

A typical meal for camping are “pizza things.”  I looked for a healthier way to make these and this is what I came up with.

I used this as the pizza crust

I used fresh mozzerella cheese but didn’t have time to shred it.  I tore it into chunks and it didn’t melt as well as it would have if it would have been shredded.  Still tasted awesome and Hailey loved them too!

I also had various healthy snacks for campfire time.  The munchies always seem to hit hard while sitting around the relaxing fire doing nothing.  I wanted to be prepared!

We also enjoyed delicious fresh grilled corn on the cob.  This turned out fantastic!

 All in all it was a nutritionally aware camping trip.  No rain, nice weather, lots of fun!  And I am super proud of myself for the way I ate!

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Always a struggle

I have been on a journey toward self-awareness for about the last year and a half or so.  I have been spending time with myself – – dating myself you might say.  Figuring out what makes me me and being completely comfortable with who I am.  A huge part of this journey is my negative relationship with food.

I may have briefly mentioned in previous posts my struggles with food.  I feel like I am always on a roller coaster (I hate roller coasters) when it comes to my relationship with food.  From as far back as I can remember I could always eat anything I wanted and not gain a pound.  I never worried about a balanced diet or exercising.  I didn’t think I needed to because I never gained weight.  The second I turned 30, that changed drastically.

I was married from ages 23 to 28 and I was at a healthy weight during that entire time.  I had maybe 5 to 10 vanity pounds I wanted to lose, but nothing major.  Even after I had Hailey I bounced back relatively quickly without any type of extreme diet or exercise.  I was still able to eat whatever I wanted and not exercise regularly.

I went through my divorce when I was 29.  I was dealing with a ton of stress and lost a bunch of weight.  My weight was what I was at before I had Hailey.  I felt like crap because I was eating tons junk food and was under a lot of stress.  Even though I felt awful inside, I liked how I looked on the outside.  Now I am 34 and I weigh as much as I did when I was 9 months pregnant with my daughter.  While I am feeling better on the inside (most days) I hate how I look on the outside.

Here is where the struggle is.  I know what I should do to be healthy.  I know the proper foods I should be eating, I know the foods I should not be eating.  I know I should be exercising.  Should, should, should.   An excellent counselor told me once to stop “shoulding” on myself.  Wise woman.  Why can’t I stop though?

My biggest concern is teaching Hailey about nutrition, being healthy, and making balanced choices regarding food.  I don’t want her to struggle with food and have a love/hate relationship with it the way I do.  My other concern is my own health.  I feel so unhealthy right now.  I want to feel good on the inside and on the outside.  I want my lifestyle to change where if I have a bad day or two I don’t completely collapse into a dark abyss of overeating.

That’s my vicious cycle.  I eat healthy for a while, I feel good, I have energy, I even exercise.  Then something happens – – usually stress and it knocks me right on my ass.  I shut down emotionally and ignore what I truly want which is to be healthy.  I become lazy and allow myself to eat junk.  I fill myself with nutritionally void food which makes me feel even worse and I sink into a depression that feels like quicksand.

Eventually I always pull myself out a little.  Occasionally I can keep myself going for a few months on a healthy cycle.  But always, always I fall.  Each time I fall harder.  I eat worse than the last time, I gain back even more weight, and I feel even more guilty.

Part of the reason I started this blog was to record what I am feeling, the thoughts I am having, what I am doing, and what I am eating with the hopes of being able to control this constant struggle.  My goal is to be able to change my life forever.  I want my norm to be eating clean and healthy on a daily basis without even thinking.  I want to lose 40 pounds and live a healthy lifestyle forever.  I want to eat whole foods that are minimally processed so that my body has fuel to work at its very best.  I want my day to consist of eating tons of fruits and veggies.  I want to be able to go out once in a while for ice cream or pizza.  I want to live this way so I can feel better and be an awesome role model for the most important person in my life – my daughter Hailey.

So, that’s some of my story, where I am, and what I am working toward.  Always a struggle for me, but I need to remember to take it one day at a time.  I also need to remember that every little step that I make toward my healthy goals counts.  And I need to quit being so damn hard on myself.